Manna

Last week I led the study for our youth group. It was on the chapter in Exodus when God first introduces Manna to the Israelites.

i am familiar w/ this story, I understand it is about God's provision.
What I wanted to focus on & what I got out of it, reading it this time was something new.

When the Israelites received the manna, the first thing they said was: What is it? That is actually, literally what the word manna means: What is it. It was something they had never seen before.

I am sure the Israelites had an idea of HOW they wanted God to provide for them. I believe they had a familiar idea. What God provided was not familiar though.

It was new & strange & His provision had some 'strings' attached, you might say. It was only there in the morning, by noon it melted away. If they tried to take care of themselves, by gathering more than was needed for the day, the manna rotted & became filled w/ maggots. Lovely.

I think the disciples also had a preconceived idea of how Jesus was going to 'save' them. And although they physically walked w/ Jesus & he warned them, I still think they were surprised how everything went down in the end. Their God, Jesus was DEAD! Not in a coma, not sleeping, but D.E.A.D dead!

Yet, Christ's death was God's perfect provision for us. He knew that it was the only provision that would really work & provide the perfect atonement & sacrifice for our sins, the only way for us to spend eternity w/ Him.

Now, in our lives, we often go to God w/ our needs & I'm sure we have an idea in our head of how that need should get met. Are we willing to accept the way God meets our need? Especially if it looks so different from what we have in mind? If it is so UNfamiliar? Do we trust God that He will meet our needs, provide for us, in the BEST way possible?

That was the challenge. God promises to provide for us....but it may not look like any 'provision' we've ever imagined....but it will be the BEST!

Hope in Crisis

It's that scene you see in movies sometimes...there is a character, @ the top of a building, about to JUMP & end their life. People are looking up in horror screaming for them NOT to jump but the potential jumper is oblivious. Then 'help' arrives in the form of a hero or something. They try to reason w/ the jumper but the jumper just can't get it. Then that moment comes, the camera zooms in & you see the face, the eyes & the hero stops talking & simply states: Give me your hand. They are almost pleading, just give me your hand. The jumper can finally hear, for a moment & stares @ that hand, wanting so bad to reach out & grab it but struggling w/ that feeling that it's too good to be true that there might be hope. Convinced that the ONLY way out is to JUMP! You can feel the extreme tension, your on the edge of your seat. If they just reach out & take the hand, you know they want to...but will they? You see how torn they are.

When I was experiencing a living nightmare, incredible heartbreak & confusion...where or how did I find hope?

I remember a moment...it was an incredibly hurtful event & situation. I'll spare the gory details...but I found myself in an ugly situation w/ my DH. He was acting in such a disgusting, unrecognizable manner. (it was the middle of the 'nightmare') I was screaming & insulting him, telling him how disgusting he was & how disgusted I was w/ him & his behavior. (real nice, huh?)

He stood there quiet, where previously he was mocking me & being utterly cruel & heartless.

But a thought flashed across my mind after I screamed how disgusting he was: God said to me: I know you are & I still love you. I nearly broke down right then & there in front of my DH. I looked @ him & for a flash, a split second, I could see into his heart. I could see HIS brokenness & need, his own pain. His desire & wish to make it all right, to fix it but not knowing how, thinking he was too far gone....I saw it & knew there was a part of him that longed to be back on the other side, on our side, w/ me & our family. It was only a flash, I can't explain it, but it was there.

In that split second, in the only way I could, I reached out to him verbally & said, w/ a crack in my voice: And...I would still take you back.Then as quick as I saw his longing & desperation, the self-loathing & guilt took over & the wall came up, displayed once again in anger. But it had been there, I saw it & it moved me. I knew then there was hope...if he could just recognize it & choose NOT to jump.

In that awful, overwhelming, & heartbreaking moment, I received hope. *I* grabbed onto it myself. God gave me a glimpse of His view of us. And He's there, w/ his hand out, gently asking us to take His hand. He sees into our hearts, into our souls.

I was able to recognize my own DH despair & knew there was hope for us, beyond the anger, the pain & the heartbreak.

I was moved to compassion & felt hope.

Eventually...he was able to cross over, reach out & grab *my* hand. We then stepped away from the edge of the 'roof', together.